A LISTENER IS ALL THAT'S REQUIRED

Every individual’s life is filled with hardships and problems, and they are constantly stressing about finding solutions to those. Well, life is busy, and to be honest, who has time to think about others' problems when they are so much consumed with their own ones at hand? But if you sit back and think about it, what do you need the most when you are going certain situations in life? Well, when you think deep enough, the answer is obvious--- a good ‘listener’.

The first thing that comes to our mind in worse situations is ‘help’. But before we gather some help to sort our problems, the first aid we require is someone listening to our problems We already get relieved halfway as we speak about the problem to someone else, and if that listener turns out to be your helper, then you surely are lucky.

But then again, there are certain problems which do not have any solution, or you may say that we run in loops, not finding a way out, and the only solution we see is to go through the situation one day at a time. The tide of immense feelings washing you off and draining you each time is quite harsh, but you know things will not be changing in the near future and you will have to go through the same over and over again. Maybe you have faced that numerous times, but it always seems to drain you the same way, rather than you being used to that. Help is always welcome from someone in these situations as well, but what if there is not even a provision to get help, or what if helping or trying to resolve the situation from external help worsens the situation?

A good listener is all that is required to ease the situation for that person, to give him the confidence to keep going. This might not be a great thing done from the former one's point of view, but it’s a huge deal for the one in some deep situation, because, at times, that’s all a person needs. This is a type of psychological help that reinforces the person mentally, assuring him that even if the person is not able to help out, the former one is interested in listening and giving suggestions or reviews wherever possible.

Now, coming to the section of reviews and suggestions I spoke above. Well, in certain cases, just finding a listener is okay, but in most cases, there is a dire need of proper suggestions and reviews as a response after listening to one’s situation. At these times, the listeners must be really good at their own level of strategic thinking and must be at a psychological advantage over the person whom he is listening out. This is obviously the part where we can call the listener a ‘counsellor’. This group of listeners is considered the best among all the listeners, and that’s why this has become one of the high grossing careers. Keeping the business theme aside, people who are good at resolving problems through listening and counseling are the best ones one can ever find, and they provide the best mental reinforcement one can ever have.

By now I guess you already relate to whatever is wrote about, and maybe you already knew all about the importance of a good listener. So, why did I use so many words to stress on this subject? This is because just knowing about it does not make this world a better place, actions are required. You might not be the best listener out there, you might not be at the level to counsel others, but you must always try and get some patience to hear someone out. It's not like you are doing some favor for someone, because it's the same that you will seek at some point in your life. These small deeds will make a huge impact on your life and also in the lives of the people around you.

Use these ears for a better purpose and be a good listener for people around you!

Thank you for reading till the end. Do leave your comments and opinions below, and Pin It if you like it.

THE EDUCATION SYSTEM

The best part of this world is ‘birth’, and along with that comes the ability of that person to do things. Every person acquires some exceptional skill, which is deeply seeded and ready to be explored, polished and displayed to this world. Well, these exceptional qualities are exceptional and considered extraordinary only when they are known both by the person himself and others.

Knowing that you have some exceptional skill or talent is the most important step for the exploration to begin, but what if we never knew what it is in the first place? How are we going to find the route to our destination when we don’t even know our area of interest?

These institutions and colleges are constantly producing engineers and doctors, and is this because all of them want to be engineers and doctors?...No! Every student knows the real fact, but is hesitant and running in this rat race, because their parents are investing too much in them. Overburdened with the system and family, children are dying every day, both mentally and physically.

Lack of confidence does develop within children over their growing years when they are constantly nagged by the fact that they don’t know anything. It’s true in almost every scenario, but the people of this era are being insignificant by flowing in a unidirectional manner. And this unidirectional flow is created by this unrealistic educational system.

Being educated in any stream is not bad, but it’s bad when you were never meant for it.

The system of education in India must change! That is the only way people will start developing skills and talents they have within. There is no proper counseling done in India after a student passes out from school. As a result, they just choose a stream that their scores or parents decide, not by their choices. And leave the talk about choices even, because most children are clueless, so is it not the responsibility of higher officials to put in a significant amount of time or some kind of counseling procedures to get them into the streams where they will actually fit? Like a jigsaw puzzle cannot be assembled together if pieces are hammered in together, the future of children cannot be made by just hammering them into a field for which they are not actually meant.

Just like the board of members have a counseling phase for deciding who are to be selected and which colleges will be allotted to them, there should be a counseling year for children after their essential exams. If not a year then at least a subject of counseling through out their developing period. This minor change can save the upcoming years of those children. Just by throwing them here and there based on the marks scored and dim thoughts about what they should choose as a career is not enough. It’s not just the responsibility of the parents, but also the schools in helping them to make the right decisions in life. It’s a shame how the country is functioning right now….wrong education, leading to wrong people at wrong posts.

The people who are feasting over this irrational system of education are the institutions which are growing in every street and corner of this nation. And it’s never enough because the students who are studying the same thing also doesn’t seem to grow any less. All I see is a rat race, as everyone seems to try and be the best at the same thing, and it’s not even because they desire it….such a shame.

Even an uneducated person can work and earn money, live a happy life. People have forgotten basics in the desire of achieving things which are not even sought by even their inner self. The result -- people who feed on other people’s fear and confusion are ruling the world. This is just a blog, and this might not make much difference in your lives, but changes start from a simple thought. Spread the word and make people who actually run the system get a hold on reading something like this. Do they also want to kill the desires and wishes of the coming generation?

There is a scope for every skill and talent when a proper field is made for them, but this nation is not going to develop unless they understand the true potential of every resource they have and utilize it in better ways. Everyone has a fear to move out of the conventional system and take steps to improve their lives, but this can be better if the conventional method itself teaches how to be strong and take risks for better results.

Change starts with you, but few changes are required at a greater level, for national or global impact.

Leave your thoughts and comments down below and do share this blog so that the thought reaches out to the people who actually run the education system. Thank you!

NEGATIVE PEOPLE DO HARM AND DO GOOD

This brings back a lot of memories now. As I try to put things in a better way out here, I still know, everybody hearing out the words ‘negative people’ can already think of a person or a number of people whom they crossed over the past years of their life. Well, let’s walk along those memories together and throw some light on the events and the characteristics of those people. And for the audience out there, who haven’t faced any negative person in your life yet, well this will be more than informative for you. Maybe this might strike you like a fantasy, as people of such nature are hard to believe to be in existence until and unless you come across one for yourself.

I guess by the law of God to maintain balance in this globe, it’s a 50-50 thing for all types of people. People should always try and spread positivity, but by the law of 50-50, there must be negativity in the air as well along with positivity, isn’t it? So, there are these people who maintain the balance by spreading negativity. They sustain on the negative emotions, such as grieves and miseries, of other people in their ecosystem.

I have observed over the years of my life, that negative people have a very distinct quality--- they love themselves the most. Now, loving yourself is not a bad thing, but when you start thinking that your happiness means the most, even more than the people who love you or support you or remain by your side always, that's the time you need to start questioning yourself- ‘is it right?’

I am not judging anyone’s decision of loving themselves over others, as it’s a personal opinion, but people like this end up harming others unintentionally or maybe intentionally when they socialize and people get close to them. Their self-centered behavior might be an added advantage for them, but it results in creating miseries and other kinds of negativity for the ones in their ecosystem. Some of them in this category do things unintentionally, but then there are ones who have the perfect innocence in their actions, with the desires of being happy for eternity at the cost of miseries of the people who look out for them. I am a believer of ‘treat as you desire to be treated’, so people who are self-centered must try and stay away from socializing and getting someone close because they are going to end up hurting people anyway. And if they desire to socialize, they must better change their ways.

I cannot blame those people directly as well for their actions, as situations and events that occur in someone's life have the ability to change them to any extent, but I somehow sympathize them, because they don’t know or might have forgotten how beautiful the world is when you look after  the people who love and care for you. Ya, living a solo life, caring about yourself is a good thing, do that, but not by harming someone else’s sentiments. Taking advantage is actually an offense, be it from anyone, even your parents. Remember, you are always at the debt of people who looked out for you and stayed beside you. So if you cannot do any good, don’t go along and do something bad.

Speaking about the talents of negative people and their characteristics, obviously, it reflects that they just do harm, and only harm. So where is the positive part that I just mentioned in the title? Well, the above words were for both who faced them and the ones who are to face them at some point in future. But this part of positivity is exclusively for the ones who already crossed paths with the negative ones.

You faced that self-centered kind, you know that they ruined your life in some way or the other at that point in time, but that experience came along with a lot of lessons as well. I cannot list down the lessons directly because it varies from person to person, and we need to look deep to find what we have learned and the improvements in us because of those negative people----in my case, I developed ‘patience’, which was one of the essential components missing in my personality.

Well, whatever may be the impact of negative ones in your life, you must not keep them around for a longer period of time. Despite the attachment you have, let them go as soon as possible because if a lump of unwanted mass is not removed at a proper time, it can be cancerous to your whole system.

If you have faced some negative person in your life, understand that God has made this world of 50-50 personalities for a reason. Just like the negative person came in your life to teach you a lesson, you also crossed their paths to teach them something important.

Don’t be depressed with the deep thoughts of your past, as everything happens for a reason.

Thank you for reading till the end. Do share your thoughts and comments below on this topic, and let me know about the lessons you have learned from your experiences.

IS HELPING A CRIME?

Tell me, in today’s world how have been your experience while helping out people? ---- Good? Bad?

I know helping people is a good thing, but does this era of polluted people deserve it? --- Actually, help is required by almost everyone at some point or the other, and if you are capable, you must help out everyone. The point which I wanted to emphasize on is that people are mostly ‘ungrateful,’ or in some extreme cases ‘disgraceful’ towards the help provided. Now, you might think ‘ungrateful’ is fine, everyone has come across that kind, but how come ‘disgraceful.’ Let me tell you, you will soon relate to what I am saying out here.

Just roll back in time and think of a help you just provided someone at the time of his/her dire need. Maybe you helped out at the initial cry or maybe after their continuous nagging. In any case, you helped out. Fine! Seems like a good deed, and you took one for them. If they appreciate your help with a smile, well and good…what more will a helping hand seek than a warm thankful gesture? And if not so, then you can just accept the fact that the person is an ungrateful type and move on.

But again this is not the end in some cases, as some beings are more than ungrateful and shameless. This reflects when they ask for help again, but this time you are unable to help. This may be due to your own inability to do so at that point in time, or maybe due to your own decision to not help them further. Now, this is something unacceptable and things turn upside down as they start criticizing you for not helping them.

Well, you might think that this is how they behave with everyone, so it’s not a big deal. But observe this species of people closely. When these people go around asking others for help and they deny, its fine with them; but when you being their helper once or maybe a couple of times, denying to help even once later down the line is the biggest mistake of your life. These people have the spirit of scavenging over others help, and they actually have the mentality of being superior to others when they make people work for them. Even during times of their trauma and despair, they blame the helping hands for their situation.

You can blame the helper for over-helping as well because he was not bound to help, and because of his actions, the person got the habit of being helped by him every time. Eventually not helping out next time was his fault. Well, there is a group of people that prove this theory wrong. And that group is termed by me as the ‘symbiosis group.’ This group of people blames and criticizes in worst ways possible when the former person or the savior is unable to help at times, just like above. But these people are an exception as they help each other out at all times, in a symbiotic manner, so the blames and criticisms are acceptable. This is some positive kind of leaning and helping that is always welcome, despite the criticisms involved. But the scavenging ones are something negative, and leaning on them is obviously not an option. They are far from helping others. Additionally, helping them can attract mental torture at times, leading some weak-minded people to pass wrong self-judgments about themselves.

The motto of this blog is not to discourage people from helping others or put a blind eye to whoever asks for help. Being a helping hand is always good, no matter how bad the former person’s mentality is while extracting that service from you. I encourage you to keep up the good work and help as many people you can, but just be a bit careful about not wearing yourself out during that process. Being ungrateful and disgraceful might be their habit, but being helpful is your habit. So, don’t sweat it! Just keep up with your good deeds, and let Karma deal with the ill-minded ones.

Be an honest person and help others the best way you can…. You will be at more peace than ever!

Thank you for reading and do share your story in comments if you have faced similar people or/and situations in your life.

TYPICAL INDIAN PARENTS

Hmm, well look where life has turned me up to. I am blogging. A person who had been running after logical ways of living and finding ways to live a happy life later on is now blogging out of frustration. Sigh….. Anyway, here I am, a civil engineer by the conventional course I chose. But this tag is just for the sake of saying to show relatives and society how much learned I am, because we the students know better, about the knowledge provided by the so-called private engineering institutions.

I will be talking about myself in the blogs later on. This being my first blog, I want to address how Indian parents mentally torture their children, I am no exception though.

It’s almost like a curse to be brought up in a middle-class family, and the curse densifies when you have no intention of living under the conventional mode of studying. Your parents keep on crying about the sacrifices they made for you, how they just thought of only you while making their decisions, did nothing but take care of you, etc., etc. Well, I will not say those are sheer

lies, they did a lot, but hey, why just push the child towards the cliff from which they themselves jumped at a certain point in their life. They might have been doing something they never liked their whole life, they know how it feels living that way, then why do the same for their own child? Making sure your child doesn’t turn out to be poor as well, or want them to exceed your present status?...... Let me give those parents a solution----- Ask your children what they want, and help them in their path!

I cannot blame the whole community, but a majority is consumed with the same monotonic ideas of life. The idea of freedom for children is just a myth. Maybe poverty is eradicated at towns and cities, but the mental poverty still prevails within those so-called happy families.

Most parents live for the society and not for their family, ending up killing their own child’s dreams and desires. Eventually, the child accepts the fact that this is how life works, and leaves his hobbies, dreams, and desires, to run in the rat race in which their parents enrolled him. Parents are responsible to inflict ethics in their child, educate him with basics and as per his abilities, and then when he gains sense after teenage, it’s just the support that matters. Being a parent you can support him in whatever he likes to do in every way possible, and if that’s also hard, just be there for your children.

Be an ideal parent by teaching basics of life, manners, and ethics to your child, rather than teaching him how important money is. Teach him to help others and be safe in his path as well while doing so. The world is already cruel, don’t be an addition to that for your child unintentionally.

Hope you have a great life, and keep in touch…. I will keep blogging at particular intervals, and maybe soon I will share my personal experiences out here.

Do comment about your opinions and experiences. . .