PILE-UPS

Life is always challenging an individual with a lot of hurdles every single day, and we try to face it one day at a time keeping things simple. We sleep every night thinking about whatever life threw at us today and wake up the next day thinking how to resolve the problems so that it doesn’t remain in our mind by the time we hit the bed at the end of the day.

A challenging life is good. It teaches us a lot of things. But what if we are unable to take down every problem as it hits us, one day at a time? What if things pile-up without even letting us resolve the previous issues? It’s similar to the homework of our classes from the previous week that we left undone at times and it got piled with the current week’s homework. But the difference lies in the emotional imbalances we face in real life and the consequences that we have to face whatsoever. Homework piles are mostly created due to our lazy nature, but the things that pile-up in real life maybe because of our slack our just situational. Either way, it breaks us.

I believe there are two kinds of pile-ups that overweigh upon us. One where everything happens at the exact same time, simultaneously, making us vulnerable and unable to deal with all of them. Second where things occur one after another in series and the damage that was done to an individual’s mind piles up, even after he takes them down one after another, one day at a time. Yes, damages also do pile up. Facing obstacles and dealing with them makes an individual strong, true, but when the obstacles are just meaningless and never-ending, then it can break the individual too.

In either of the situation, piling doesn’t seem to be a good thing for anyone, but almost every second people face this and get trapped into psychological loopholes, killing them from within, day after day, not able to find a way out to anything specific to resolve all that and make peace for themselves.

Emotional pile-ups can be disastrous and even after things are resolved, the damage done sometimes can never be fixed, leading the individuals to misjudge the future events and people they face in life. Like every other big event that change people from within, these things happen at a slow and steady pace, and people don’t realize this when they go through those behavioral changes. A good external help is always required to keep an individual to go through these kinds of situations, as a support is highly recommended to keep things calm, even if not permanently fixed.

Well, enough about negative pile-ups, let’s talk something good about them. Now, there are certain things in our life we have a hard time dealing with, or emotions that we have a hard time expressing, be it good or bad. We always have that something pulling us back, thinking about the consequences, or maybe we lack the confidence to make that happen. At those times, these pile-ups are the thing that helps us take a leap and act accordingly. It’s just like a dam, where the water has to be released when the upstream side develops more potential than it can hold. I explained with an engineering perspective, but I guess you got my point. Sometimes we just need a push, and when I think about an internal push, it’s our self-determination, and when we lack that, it’s the potential developed due to our pile-ups.

So, be it good or bad, pile-ups have a major impact on our lives, and things we do and who we are right now are a result of potentials and breakdowns caused within us due to those pile-ups. I hope you related to what I had in mind and stated out here in my broken words.

Thank you for reading till the end. Do leave your thoughts and views in the comment section below, and let me know how your pile-ups changed your life.

BLESSINGS OF HOBBIES

No matter how calm you think you are, your mind is always restless and ready to think of something or the other at all times. Be it consumed with some situation or empty with nothing significant, it will still roam here and there thinking about things which might be of no value. We always need something to fill our leisure time in between the hectic schedule of our life. This is completed by the hobbies that help us swim away from all our deep thoughts and worries for some time at least. Hobbies are something that we lean towards, effortlessly, due to our interests and positive feelings that develop within while we engage in certain activities.

Usually, people don’t like to work and put effort into anything and want everything to be done with ease. But 'hobby' is a category under which every work is welcomed by an individual, whatever be the effort required to execute it.

Today everyone is running after studies and streams that are not even meant for them. All a person is craving for is money, fooling himself with the lie that it will get him the ultimate satisfaction he wants. Even after you have minted a lot of coins for yourself, your ultimate satisfaction will be filled by the things that you like to do the most. If money is the only thing that makes you happy and there is nothing else that you like doing, then go for it, else you are missing few points here and there as you run along with other people in this endless race of life.

Again, most people are after money as a necessity to run their lives, and not because money is their ultimate passion. But in that process, people forget what they always desired, and along with that their hobbies also slowly die. Few people get to relive their lives after a certain time when the realization hits them, but it’s not the same for everyone. Everyone is not that lucky.

The things you like to do or you aim for are always related to your hobbies, even if not directly, you will see that your hobbies are alive when you are on the path of pursuing the things you always wanted. Make yourself as a test subject and think for a bit, and you will find the answer within. Both your desires and hobbies work hand in hand, just stick onto your hobbies to heal yourself when required, and you will pursue whatever you truly desire in your life. Same way, if you just keep your mind straight and work towards whatever you truly desire in your life, your hobbies will remain alive side by side, without even you having to think about that.

Few people might contradict from my above statements, and I am fine with that. Your lives might have been filled with hardships, and you might have been forced into situations, jobs or responsibilities that you never wanted, but why let everything remain gloomy? If there is negativity in life, make some space for your forgotten hobbies and let it help you go through all the bad moments of your life.

I believe that a good hobby like singing, writing or anything else, that doesn’t cost you more than your leisure time is a very healthy way to heal yourself. I write because it helps me clear my mind, and it’s a hobby I am developing gradually to keep me on my path of pursuing greater things in life.

Detoxification of mind is a very essential need for everyone, and what better can it be than a stress-relieving hobby? Give a thought on whatever you just read here and make space for the hobbies you have in your daily life. It might seem trifle and might not yield anything from your perspective, but that's the habit which will keep your mind clear while you work on achieving your goals. 

Never let your hobbies die and it will help you live your life in a better way!

Thank you for reading till the end. Do place your views in the comment section below and let me know if you have your hobbies still alive with you.

GIVE BIRTH ONLY WHEN CAPABLE

I cannot emphasize on this topic and say that I am right to the full extent, but being in certain situations and viewing some of them from a distance has made me think of this for a while. The title seems to be about family planning, and it truly describes that, but with a little different perspective.

Birth and death are the two ultimate laws of nature. Both of them can be controlled to a certain extent by precautionary measures created by men. Well, death can still be stated uncertain and can only be mitigated to a certain extent, but birth can be controlled as per the requirement and readiness of the individuals craving to be parents.

Family planning is done by almost everyone nowadays, and most of the pieces fall into place if everything goes on smoothly. Parenting is always filled with challenges as the requirements increase with the age of children, and planning done is also susceptible to collapse at times leading to unwanted scenarios. I am not a parent and I cannot explain the pressure or torments every parent has to go through so I will not go around advising how they should earn and fulfill the needs of every child, but there are certain things every parent must know and realize while raising up their children.

As my title says- ‘give birth only when capable’, has a deeper meaning to it. It means planning, not only keeping in mind the present status of the individuals deeming to be parents but also with the motive of not stressing both their lives and the life of the child that is to be born down the line.

Life is always full of challenges, be it being parents or just mere individuals leading their lives. But yes, parenting is much more challenging as you have lots of responsibilities. The thing that matters most is the mental stability while raising a child, and this is the most important factor that counts. When an individual is mentally strong and has the ability to handle situations, even an unplanned child is welcomed by him, and challenges are taken care with ease. On the other hand, a weak minded individual will fail even if the child is properly planned. Sounds bitter, but being a child or a parent, you will relate to what I am saying.

I am not implying that weak minded people should not give birth, but they should get hold of a better partner who can control them and take things into their hand at troublesome situations or should try to get their weak side strengthened before turning into a parent. This talk can be directed towards choosing a better partner and how they can properly nourish a weak mind's life, but I would like to stick onto the topic of raising a child, as children matter the most after a couple becomes parents.

Weak minded people often turn out blaming others for their weakness, and in most of the cases, they are charged back by the people with sane counters, putting the weak minds in their place. But if that person is a parent of some child and he is accusing his child of all the situations in his life, making the child count every penny spent on him? Or maybe accusing the child over things that might not even be his concerns at that age. There might be many outbursts that I might not even be able to imagine and put out here, but I guess you got my point. Things like these need control, and the ones who are weak-minded must admit to themselves and go for therapies and help so that they can make both their life and their family's life peaceful.

Taking responsibilities is a great deal, and when it’s about a child, utmost care is always required. The child might not be able to talk back or fight back, but it is your responsibility to do what is just, not whatever you feel like doing. Blaming and shouting at everyone is the not the solution for the weakness a person feels within, strengthening it and finding the true potential through proper therapies is the only solution. The family you create must feel like a safe corner, rather than something you or the other individuals have to bear.

So, try and be a proud parent of a happy child, rather than a weak parent of a tormented mind.

 Thank you for reading till the end, and do comment your views down below. Apologies if I overstated something, but this is just a personal opinion.

POVERTY, DREAMS AND DESIRES

This is one of my favorite topics to talk upon as I have been the first-hand victim of this situation. I know the title seems to be a bit confusing but this is something that consumes a great chunk of my ‘overthinking’ time at this present phase of life.

The feeling of living in poverty when you have a house to live in, a family to live with and food to survive is quite absurd. Even after acquiring the basic amenities of life, how can a person feel to be living in some kind of poverty? Well, the term 'poverty' differs from the perspective where it is observed.

According to a nation, there is a poverty line that defines that whether a person is living in poverty or doing well and good. But from the perspective of an individual, the feeling of living in poverty or not is described with respect to his habitat. Think of it for a second, how do you define yourself to be doing well and good? Your life needs to be compared with someone else's, and the first comparison you do is always with the people in your habitat.

Now, as the title seems to be a bit clear, let’s take things a bit deeper, shall we?

Children are raised in a certain habitat by their parents and sent to schools and colleges according to their capabilities and financial status. Eventually, they create their own circle in which they live in, gradually comparing themselves along with other kids of their circle, leading to demands that are sometimes out of the capability of their parents. Well, making those irrational demands is fine up to a certain age when they are naïve and do not understand the financial status of their family. Moderation during that age is the key to a proper upbringing of the children.

Well, moderation is the key when the demands are irrational, but what if the demands and requirements are genuine? Still there comes the factor of ‘being able to provide’ by the parents. And what if that factor is also met and still they are negated?

Parents need to understand that when they are pushing their children into certain circles and habitat during their study life, the changes that come along with it are huge. Moderate your children till they are sane enough to understand the value of money and freedom that they acquire from you. But, after a certain age, they are rightful of acquiring certain basic things to survive in the habitat that they have created, so it's the duty of their parents to provide them as per their capabilities rather than making them feel deprived and being in a wrong habitat. Some parents just forget that their kids are growing, and they need certain things according to their age. This, in turn, creates an imbalance leading to unwanted abnormalities within the parent-children relationship. Parents might think that they are still doing good, and they are at the best in their game by moderating, but neglecting needs as per the growing age of their children is one of their major flaws.

Now, for the individuals who feel deprived and by relating to this situation, feeling as if this is your story, do not go on charging on your parents or guardians showing off this post. Instead, try and make them understand about your needs with proper and decent words, and if that still doesn't work, just realize that the demands and desires you have are to be earned and not begged. Even though its the responsibility of your parents to provide you, they can decide not to do so with their own reasons in mind. So, the only option that remains for you to keep your self-respect intact is obtaining everything you want through hard work and perseverance Be it your freedom or something materialistic, earn it! If your habitat is making you feel depressed of you not having those things, leave the habitat for your own good.

Parents being naive and not providing even after being capable is a sad part, but turning that feeling of being deprived and living in some kind of poverty into something better by working towards a better future with everything you always wanted in life is the best way out.

So, if your parents are not providing, start earning yourself to bring a change.

Thank you for reading till the end, and do let me know if you have some contradicting views on this topic. This is just my personal view, so apologies if I have not considered any perspective in this post.